Who Goes On The Guest List

This is a contentious issue. How many people are you supposed to invite? How many people from each side are supposed to attend? What’s the difference between day and evening guests?

I should point out that this list structure does not include the direct wedding party.

I’ll be honest, I thought my method of choosing your guests was fairly common knowledge but I bought it up on a recent episode of ‘Yes’ To ‘I Do’ and Chris (my co-host) didn’t know about it so I thought I’d share it in a blog post.

If you were to look at your Facebook Friends list or the amount of followers you have on Instagram you’ll quickly realise you can’t invite everyone you know, well, unless you hire out the O2 I suppose!

So you have to start making sacrifies about people you want and don’t want at your wedding. It can be cut throat and hard but let’s start by looking at how many people you should have at your wedding.

Quite simply there is no right or wrong answer.

With that said though, there are some things to consider when deciding on the length of your guest list and your venue.

The first thing is ‘will your venue hold that many guests?’ and conversely ‘will that many guests fill your venue?’

It’s a bit of a chicken and the egg situtation because you don’t want to write your guest list before you book your venue but you’ve got to make sure your venue will hold that many guests. I would recommend deciding how many people you would like. I would roughly estimate how many people you need your venue to hold.

The beauty of most venues these days is they have multiple rooms of differing sizes so they can hold multiple different size weddings without the room looking too full or empty.

Right, once you’ve booked your venue you have an idea as to how many guests you’re going to have to fill the venue.

Now the fun bit…

Writing the list!

If you’re going to employ my method of choosing your guest list then you’re both going to go away and write your own lists.

My method has a 3 teired system of guests.

  • Would you buy this person dinner? Yes? Day guest!

  • Would you buy this person a drink? Yes? Evening guest!

  • No to both? They don’t make the list!

It’s that simple. In fact I’ve put together a quick and easy diagram to make your life easier (at the bottom of this post).

Once you’ve both gone away and written your lists (don’t worry about numbers at this time), you can both come together and compare notes.

  • If a person features on both day lists they are a day guest

  • If a person features on both evening lists they are an evening guest.

  • If a person features on 1 day list and doesn’t feature on either of your partners lists then they are an evening guest.

From this point it gets a bit tricker.

  • If someone features on one day guest and one evening guest then a discussion needs to be had about whether they should be a day or evening guest.

  • If they feature of an evening list and not on either list of the other then, again, a discussion needs to be had about whether they should be invited or not.

It’s one of those things that can be hard to write down so I’ve tried to compile this theory into one diagram to make life as easy as possible for you:

Guest List Decider.jpg

I hope this helps!

Until next week,

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Jack